A Look at Richard Gadd’s Depiction of Stalking in “Baby Reindeer”
July 12th, 2024
***Spoilers Ahead***
Baby Reindeer is a seven-episode Netflix limited dark comedy/drama-thriller series created by and starring Richard Gadd. It’s based on Gadd’s real-life story of being stalked by a woman he meets when she comes into the bar where he works. The series is unique in its portrayal of a cisgender male survivor and a cisgender female perpetrator, since this dynamic is often underrepresented or misrepresented in popular media. Gadd addresses this departure from the typical stalker narrative in an interview with GQ, when he discusses that historically, female stalkers and their relation to the survivor have been depicted artistically and are often sexualized in popular films like Fatal Attraction, whereas Gadd’s depiction of his experience with his stalker, Martha, is raw, vulnerable, and fundamentally human. That is probably my favorite part of this series. Gadd intentionally gives Martha humanity. We feel for her; we see her pain just like we see Donny’s. This forces us to approach conversations around gender-based violence with a more critical lens.
I won’t lie, I found myself questioning Donny’s response to Martha at times. Why is he indulging her? Why won’t he tell his girlfriend, Teri, the full truth? Why won’t he tell the police the full truth? Fortunately, my Atria Collective training came flooding back to me, and I reflected on my understanding that there is no “correct” response to an experience like Donny’s. My frustration came from some deep-seated internal desire to see this character be the perfect victim when in reality, he is human too! The discomfort and frustration I felt as a viewer was an important part of reliving this experience with him.
The series culminates in its disturbing fourth episode. We find out that Donny had been groomed and sexually abused by his mentor, Darrien, when he was in his early 20s. For me, this episode was both the most important part of the show and the most difficult to watch. In Gadd’s words: “I wanted to show what Darrien did was perniciously evil, whereas Martha’s behavior came from a place of deep vulnerability.” It becomes clear to the viewer that Martha holds a different place in Donny’s life than Darrien though they both contribute to his trauma, which can help explain why he responded the way he did. It reinforces the idea that we should never project our own ideas and values onto a survivor, since we have no way of fully understanding their lived experience.
Another impactful aspect of the series is Donny’s relationship with a trans woman. We see Donny grappling with a dichotomy between his experience with Martha, who validates his masculinity and heteronormativity, and his experience with his girlfriend Teri, who challenges his internalized homophobia and transphobia. In one disturbing scene, Martha physically attacks Teri after finding her on a date with Donny in a bar. Due to his trauma and his confusion surrounding both Martha and Teri, Donny is unable to disclose this detail to the police. It eventually results in the end of his relationship with Teri and inaction on the part of law enforcement, who had essentially been useless in supporting Donny. Martha attacking Teri physically along with the insults she shouts about Teri’s physical appearance serve as powerful examples of the way that trans women are disproportionately victimized in instances of gender-based violence. The fact that she never got justice for the harm she endured is frustrating, yet it is the reality for many trans survivors.
It feels reductive to rate or criticize this show in any way. This is Gadd’s story. His creation is shameless in its levels of discomfort, pain, revelation, and even humor. What I can safely say is that it’s a standalone depiction of the complexity of the cycle of abuse. At no point is his situation black and white. Baby Reindeer allows us to interrogate our preconceived notions about what both survivors and perpetrators look like, and the different forms that the balance of power and control can take on. Gadd chose to share a vulnerable part of himself with the world, and it’s up to us to decide how we can use it to critically examine our own belief systems regarding gender-based violence.
Grace Dozeman (she/her)
Privilege & Poverty Intern